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Friday 19 January 2018

Jokes, Humour, Funny etc

Child and Parent

Child to Parent : Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (as in Crying)?
Parent               :  Don't cry over getting hit or the milk.

Mild  : What's cooking?
Tolerant : Too cold to cook, Too old to heat.

Bald :  Whassup ?
Belligerent : Why don't you get up, up, and away?

Toad : Croak, Croak, Croak
Diligent : You make me Quack Quack Quack up.


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Student and Teacher

Student to Teacher : You never teach us anything.
Teacher : Thats because you guys are either prepaying for pests, or monkeying outside classes, or falling thick or worse expecting something from me.

Stupid to Joker : What is the answer to every problem in my maths book?
Poker : Lets dis-solve it to-g-ether.

Strapit to Pecker : Why is my schoolbag so heavy?
Double Decker : Well, carry carry why do you caree?

Wretched to Mock-her : I hate you, and I hate this school, and I hate everyone?
Smooch-her: So I am the cherry on the top of the cake.

Wicket to Batter : Don't get out like last time that early.
Cricketer : Relax, I get out either caught in the slips, leg before thicket, hit on wicked, gun out, weaned and howled, humped, and finally get rewired and spurt.




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Husband and Wife



Husband  to Wife : What's the matter honey you are not bugging me today, are you not feeling swell.
Wife : Alright baby I will Bug you, Hug you, Tug you, Lug you, Slug you and Mug you, just stay put.

Hubby : I think about you all the time and I am not able to concentrate on work honey.
Life: That's alright, looks like you have the right inspiration.

Chubby : Honey, can you tell the kids to calm down.
Knife : Shall I tell them to cuten up.

Huffy: Man, I can't fit into my pants anymore.
Strife : You need to lighten up.

Sloppy: I finished everything on my plate today.
Gripe  : And who's gonna finish za booze.

Grippy: I have lost a grip on reality.
High five: There's always prescription medication.

Drippy: I have a runny nose, a leaking bladder, crying eyes, sweaty palms, and the occasional lump in my throat.

Thrive : May be I'll try a stop-per.

Hippy: I feel woozy after all these hallucinogens.
Safe :   What you mean to say is you feel like a ditsy after all the divinations.


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